Wednesday, March 13, 2013

How I Use Attachment Parenting in Everday Life

Sometimes I find the general public does not "get" attachment parenting. Here are some of the basics as they pertain to my life. I hope they inform, help, and support many people out there. :)

1. My children's needs will be met or exceeded. This means no "cry it out", hitting, piercings, or genital cutting.
2. Each child has unique strengths and weaknesses which means that one peaceful technique may not work for all children. However, being calm, modeling, and using patience works with all children regardless of their needs and personalities. Redirecting may work for one child, while time in a soft place like our library area may help another child.
3. I work very hard not to shout at my children so they learn to relate their needs in a calm, patient voice as well.
4. I am not perfect, but I do try every day to do better and to learn more.
5. Bed sharing works for my family and each child has let me know when he or she is ready to sleep alone or in another room with a sibling.
6. I nurse until the child weans him or herself. I have never had an issue with milk production, thankfully, and rarely become frustrated with the amount of closeness this takes. I realize this is all very fortunate for me and that many people struggle. I support you out there!
7. Sometimes AP kids hit or kick or bite. They are human and sometimes forget how to use their words because they are frustrated or angry. This is when children need patience and modeling the most.
8. I surround myself with supporters. For every person who thinks I am nutso, there are a handful more who know I have solid experience and research that backs up attachment/peaceful parenting of my children.9. I will always choose my children over any significant other. They are children and must have my protection until adulthood and my support beyond that. Yep, my husband understands this and has no issue with it.

I could go on all  day, but for your sake and mine I will stop there for now. Just keep in mind the next time you see a child melting down in the store that the child may have special needs and the child definitely is having a hard time. It is more fruitful to use patience and communication to calm the situation that to shout, threaten, or ignore the situation. Meltdowns aren't fun for the child, parent, or others nearby but they can be teaching moments rather than stressful or even harmful moments. :)

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