Every morning is the same. Our mornings rarely vary. After bed-sharing all night on a fairly uncomfortable bed, because my husband uses sleep medication for quite a few medical reasons and we cannot bed-share a child with a person on sleep medicine safely, I wake up to a 25 month old child crying next to my face. "Oh. no", you say? "Poor little guy", you say? I agree, it must suck to be that unhappy and uncomfortable so often but this post is a little more selfish than that. You see I have kind of had it. I need to vent.
I HATE being woken up this way by a two year old child. I recognize that this is not his fault and that he has learned some coping skills BUT he is not yet old enough to really get a lot of expertise from play therapy or occupational therapy like his sister did when she was first diagnosed with sensory issues. She was four and a half and we had weathered storms but none as tough as what my sensory son deals with daily. So when I see that someone is vaccinating their child or feeding their child McDonald's daily, I become agitated. Not because I dislike the person but because I know that environment affects the genetic coding we have from birth and can very easily cause our children's brains and bodies to change. Admittedly vaccines caused two of my children to become ill and then have food allergies and sensory integration dysfunction. As a matter of fact, my son only had one vaccine the day his reaction happened so when I see folks doing even a minimal schedule I get upset for their children.
Do people KNOW what I go through daily? Do they KNOW the hell that my children go through? Do they know what it is like to be awake for 72 hours straight with a screaming baby? I wish what we have gone through on no one. Unfortunately there is still work to do. We still have to teach my son how to cope with he emotions and mood swings as well as how to communicate without falling into a never ending tantrum. Sadly his issues are far more concerning that a typical two year old's issues. Some sensory children take around two hours to fall asleep, this is how BOTH of my sensory children were as little ones. Thankfully my daughter has improved greatly with patience, modeling, and routines as well as therapy.
My sensory children become upset over a small issue like how many pieces of potato are on a plate. If they do not choose to cope with the feelings they have, the situation can and often does escalate into a full blown screaming, crying, head banging situation. Often this lasts for an hour or more if not caught early. No, normal discipline does not work most times. Usually they are not even aware that others are in the room once the sensory tantrum begins. I can model working out the situation all day but if the child is screaming and not aware of my presence, then it will not help. The only way to discipline is to help them calm down, usually with a deep pressure bear hug, and then discuss the behavior or at that time model a proper choice. Sometimes they refuse to be touched..my son often rolls over and over on the floor until he hits a wall, I try to get between him and the wall or put a pillow there, then he rolls to the other wall all while screaming. This most often happens at night.
So, no I do not sleep well. No, we don't vaccinate anymore. Sure, I feel grumpy often. I WILL suck it up and go out with my family today as planned. And yes, I love my children. Thank you for letting me vent, I feel better already.:)