For those of you who don't know, I have one typical child and two children who are living with food allergies and sensory issues. My oldest child is calm unless her brother and sister egg her on which they often do. My two younger children have so many triggers that it can be tough to prevent their tantrums. I do my best to prevent and de-escalate situations that arise, BUT there are times when they flip out not only at home but also in public.
Many folks want to know how on earth I keep calm when my kids flip out. Well who says I am calm? The key is to keep the kids from knowing how annoyed I am! I help them calm down before I deal with the discipline aspect of their behaviors. This does tend to include deep pressure from a bear hug for my two sensory children and time alone with a book for my older daughter.
Once the upset child is calm, we discuss the situation as well as better choices that could be made in the future if the situation arises again. If there is a correction to be made, such as picking up a thrown toy or cleaning a mess, the child then takes care of it.
Yes, I want to yell and scream, too. Yes I want to throw things and trash the house sometimes. However, if I choose to have a tantrum, I am just reinforcing the idea that being out of control is an acceptable tool to get my way. Trust me, reinforcing THAT idea would be disastrous at my house.